Well, here are we again. Another year down. Tonight we celebrate the end of December, a month of people pretending to give a shit about each other, followed by a night of crazed connection and cocktails that will make us all feel nostalgic, romantic, pensive, optimistic and magical; as if we’ll wake up tomorrow shiny happy new people. It’s all bullshit! We’ll wake up tomorrow and it will be……January (not only cold but anti-climactic.) And while many will spend the first day of this brand new magical year nursing hangovers, by February, they will come to suspect that they haven’t changed at all. The magical unicorn that was supposed to come and make them feel so different that they’d drop all the shit they did last year and suddenly become thin, popular, creative, caring and productive, must have been hit by a truck on his way to their house.

I’ve never been a fan of forced fun and to me Christmas, New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day are all meant to force me to magically feel something that just isn’t there. It isn’t there for me and many others like me.

They want us all to buy into the same magical Christmas narrative that is meant to make us feel all warm and fuzzy about our families, even if your family is chock full of assholes who treat you worse than any stranger would. We all have to buy into this nostalgic romanticized version of the holidays and why? Because it sells! It sells products, lots of products. So if you don’t feel warm, fuzzy or magical something is wrong with you and you are not only anti-family, you are un-American and un-patriotic! And probably on the NSA’s watch list.

For 2018, I personally want to focus on connection and quality, not just numbers and popularity. My Fakebook and LinkedIn are full of contacts that aren’t quality at all, people who don’t respond back or in the case with Fakebook particularly, only respond to posts about cute animals and cupcakes. For Fakebook and LinkedIn it’s all about how many people are in your network, but what point is it to have 1.200 people in your network if only 20 respond when you reach out?

I find that when people are in a good place, they want to avoid others who are not. They want to keep that bad juju away from them just in case it rubs off and fucks up their good stride.  I’ve had several of those bad patches and my empathy for others in bad situations is strong. I am all too familiar with feeling alone and helpless and powerless and scared; and if I can help, I will. It only makes me feel more gratitude for the position I’m currently in. I don’t shy away from the pain or the uncomfortable conversations that need to happen. I try to be as authentic as possible.

So for 2018, I’d like to challenge others also to seek out quality as well. If you are going to do anything in the New Year, reinforce the connections that support you and drop those who don’t. No matter what their title is in your life. Life is too short for superficial anything! Say no to superficial love, friendship, and professional connections.  Create depth, quality and authenticity for yourself because that will have an effect on the world. If we all did that and demanded that, wow! If we all raised the bar and said “I want the real deal” that would challenge others to bring their “A” game or go home, personally and professionally. Stop accepting mediocrity and pretending it’s sincerity wrapped in awesomeness.

You might not be able to change everything but you can change how you respond, what you accept from others and who you surround yourself with.  If you don’t have the life you want, maybe it’s time to stop accepting the superficial and go deep!

Wishing you all a year of quality of depth! Wellsie.